How our inner communication affects our outer conversations, and how to use this knowledge to develop sustainably.

If you have been reading my blog regularly, or if you have read my guide Five Keys to Communicate Sustainability for Success, you are hopefully convinced by now that, in order to change the world for the better, we need certain communication skills. The kind that inspires immediate, yet also enthusiastic change in human habitual practices. And you know that in order to acquire those skills, we need to engage in deep, transformative, personal and collective (human) development. Especially when we think we do not need it (ego will try to trick us with such a thought, and many will fall for it).

In my articles, I share what I have learned so far (at now one year short of 70 years old), which allowed me to design and lead successful sustainable development projects, and help others do the same. I write mostly about communication and conversations because I was able to experience firsthand the absolutely crucial role that they play in shaping reality, for better or for worse. But I also know that it is wisdom that changes the world for the better—in the present case, wise communication. And wisdom is not knowledge. It cannot be transferred. Wisdom is acquired through experience and practice. It is embodied: it lives in flesh and bones. So, what you may glean intellectually from this article alone will not make you wise. But it may hopefully inspire you to try the practice I suggest below. Or to contact me to ask a question, or to sample a Socratic conversation with me.

Information Overload

Never before has there been as much information as today about social, economic, and environmental problems and solutions. So why are we not changing faster? Why is information not moving our limbs in the right direction? Why are we having so many misunderstandings? The average quality of human communication these days is frankly appalling, as reflected by the gap between words and deeds, and by the high degree of social polarization in many countries.

Communication uses bodies. The better you treat your own body, and all of its parts, the more enjoyable and productive your conversations with others will become. And the faster you will change the world for the better.

Experiment

To verify what I say, I propose you try an experiment for a few weeks, based on the theory of fractals. Fractals are the constant reiteration of similar patterns and details at varying scales, found in nature, where the part mimics the whole and vice versa – think the seeds arrangement in sunflowers, or the Romanesco cabbage spears (to not burden you with complex examples).

Follow the steps below.

First, please honestly assess your current communication with different audiences: boss, certain colleagues, your own team, the board, clients, etc. I call this your external, or outer, communication. If you are a normal leader, you will have areas for improvement. I ask you to list them and characterize them. Pick one audience with whom you want to have a better communication (it could be just one person). Write down what you think the main misunderstanding consists of, between you and this audience and what you would like to see happening instead between the two of you.

Then, I propose that you imagine yourself as an information system with a myriad inter-related entities: your organs and all your other body parts. The better the system works—information circulates in adequate quantity and quality—the better your health and thus your ability to interact adequately with your environment. If your liver can “speak” clearly and fluently with your stomach, and your stomach with your brain, and your brain with your heart and all your other body parts, and so on (you get the picture), YOU will function well, in all respects. You will also learn better, eat better, sleep better, process trauma better, etc. Yes?

Also, please picture in your mind that things in your environment communicate with each other and with different parts of your mind and body, in addition to all of your body parts communicating with each other, energetically and/or materially. You are an ecosystem within several larger ecosystems, and you interact with other ecosystems like yours. Please also see that you as the-whole-of-you are a different entity from each one of your parts, and as such you-the-whole can communicate with each part, whichever it may be. In fact, they need you and you need them. They serve you and you serve them, like in all ecosystems. Try to visualize all this in your mind as nested networks, where any part and any combination of parts can be one entity capable of communicating with all others. Picture your audience (the one you picked in step one) as one of those external entities in the larger network.

Then, stop twisting your neurons in knots over “scope 4” and “double materiality” for a moment. Stop anything you are doing. Close your eyes if it helps. And focus on “listening” to your body and everything in it. Really pay attention. Do not expect anything. Do not judge anything. Think that your body is a never-ending source of exactly the information that you need to hear, exactly when you need to hear it. Just be open to receiving any kind of message. It is also helpful that you start the conversation. You may say, for example: “My body, please speak to me. Tell me what you want me to know about my connection to this audience (the one you picked).” You can also ask one specific organ: “My heart, …” or “My liver, …” If you pick one organ, I suggest you pick the heart. Do NOT choose the head. If you ask a specific question, only ask one at a time and wait for an answer before asking another question. It may take a few days. You may have to repeat the question (kindly, calmly). Stop and listen to your body every day, as many times per day as you can, for several days, for just a few minutes each time. Trust your body. It IS communicating with you. And go about the rest of your usual occupations, the rest of the time. Note the answers you get. Just do the best you can. With practice, channels get clearer and clearer.

Answers may come in different ways: sensations, images or sentences popping into your mind, even signs outside (yes, outside) of your body: a sentence you will read somewhere, or will hear from someone. You will know it is an answer because you will feel a distinct signal from your body at that very moment. Something will “click into place”.

After a week or two, check in: how is your inner communication doing? What has your body been expressing? How is your outer communication going, especially with the audience you had picked in step one? And are you noticing similarities between your outer and your inner conversations?

I hope that, like many of us who pay careful, constant attention to both our inner and outer worlds, you will be able to notice how they mirror each other. And you will understand that the quality of your communication with others is directly related to how you communicate with yourself, and how your body organs communicate with each other. You will also be able to give kind instructions such as, for example: “My heart, please facilitate the dialogue between my gut and my head.” The more and better you listen to and understand the body messages, the better you can give your body what it needs in quality and quantity (food, air, water, relationships, activities, experiences, etc.). You will experience increased wellbeing as well as easier, more fluid and positive conversations with others. Start simple: head, heart, and gut. If those three communicate well, you’re a pro!

We tend to speak of “having good (or bad) relationships,” and less of what relationships consist of: communication. Communication is an energy exchange, where the energy is information. We all survive and thrive (or not) depending on the quantity and quality of this exchange. Let me insist on the need for quality, by using a metaphor: we can only understand and process certain types of information, like we can only digest certain types of food. We can only survive in certain types of ecosystems.

There is a continuum between inner and outer worlds. The better all parts communicate with each other and with the system as a whole, and systems with systems, the better all survive and thrive. When we give our body what it needs, we come to understand others better and we are better understood. When we reach common understanding, our words become the right actions, much faster.

Please ask me any questions you may have and share in the comments if you are doing the experiment and how it is going for you. All will benefit from your experience!

 

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